On a journey

a glad heart

2011-05-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.
Proverbs 12:25

Have you ever been anxious before? Dictionary.com defines "Anxiety" as "a state of uneasiness or tension caused by apprehension of possible future misfortune, danger, etc; worry." Feeling anxious has to be one of the worst feelings ever. Have you ever been near someone who is feeling anxious? Just today I was with a client who began to experience anxiousness over potential fears in social settings. The "what if's" of life began to take over his mind and I could see him beginning to sweat, his breaths began to get more shallow and his eyes widened with a distinct stare. I literally could "see the fear in his eyes."

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.

This man's heart was literally being weighed down by his anxiety. As I saw him struggling, I began to think to myself, "I am no different from this man." There have often been times when my heart has been weighed down by worry. Unfortunately, too often I have fallen victim to this worry and let it affect my mind, emotions and even physical health. As I began to speak soft comforting words to him and use deep breathing techniques to help calm him down, I wondered, "What am I using to comfort myself?"
I think there is a reason why the Bible addresses worry and why it is so important that we battle against the worry that so easily tries to weigh us down. I think that worry is a natural human feeling. As humans, we naturally worry about a multitude of things at any age. When I was growing up it was mostly "Will 'they' like me?", "Will I ever have a boyfriend?", "Am I going to make it through this grade?" to "What will I major in?", "Will I have enough money for college?" to "Was this the right choice?", "Will I make enough money for rent/groceries/travel?", "Should I get married?". Worry has been my constant companion.
Sometimes I like to think that I don't worry as much as "this or that person," but I have recently come to a painful truth. I am a worrier. My worry has gotten so bad that I went to see the doctor because of severe stomach pains (a build up of too much acid in my system).
To break it down simply, I am fully aware that worry = lack of trust in God. A recent Bible App. I downloaded sums it up perfectly.

"[Worry] does not mean that you don't take responsibility for the things you are supposed to to handle; it just means that you know when you stop and God begins."

The awesome thing about all of this is, I don't have to feel powerless when faced with worry. Bible reading has always been a struggle for me. I LOVE the Bible, but when it comes to reading it consistently, I struggle. However, God has been supplying me with the strength to read the Bible every morning before work. I wake up to God's word speaking peace into my heart.

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.

This verse is SO true. Whether you believe in God or not, if you have ever been worried about something, you have felt the weight of it on your heart. Now, think about the feeling you get when a good word is spoken to you... "Everything is going to be ok", "You are going to make it through this", "I am here for you".... BAM! A glad heart is born!
There are so many verses in the Bible that proclaim these truths that hold the power to take a heart that is weighed down with the worries of this life and make it glad. I have experience the peace and power God has over worry, and though I still struggle (often more than I'd like), I know that God is renewing me day by day and helping me trust in His control over my life.

What a blessing it is to experience a glad heart.

2011-04-26T21:09:00.000-07:00

Let no day slip over without some comfort received from the Word of God. - John Knox

could it possibly be true?

2011-04-26T19:14:00.000-07:00

Could it possibly be true that God would allow me to experience my greatest fear to show me His power in my weakness?
I think so. I once heard that the worshipper of God is truly revealed when one continues to worship God in weakness. A no-brainer, one might think, or at least I did when I first heard the phrase. But here I am. My heart is crushed and my eyes sore from crying.
Tonight a truth was revealed to me, and not just any truth. The very truth revealed to me was my greatest fear. I am kind of in shock at the moment. So many emotions and yet a strange numbness at the same time. Could this numbness be the very peace of God? I hope.
To have the power to forgive someone for the wrong done to you is quite a dangerous position to find yourself in. The battle of the flesh to have it's way is strong, but God is stronger. "It's not fair!, I deserve more!, I deserve revenge!" screams my flesh. Yet in whispers stronger than any scream, a still small voice repeats, "Dear child, remember what I have done for you. Remember my perfect plan. Discover my perfect peace." Because God has forgiven me for everything, past, present, and future, it has always been my strong conviction when in the position to forgive others, to do it...

"Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Colossians 3:12-14

I think it is quite amazing how God prepares His children to walk through the fire, and prepares their hearts for all things. Even in in tears as I write this, I look back and see how God has been preparing me for this moment. I find peace, hope, and strength in his word and will continue to follow Him throughout my struggle.

your prayer versus questioning is much appreciated.
grace and peace.

2010-10-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

"Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD ?'

Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God"

Proverbs 30:8-9

This proverb is hauntingly true to the prayer of my heart at the moment. This verse has such insight into the human mind. If I have plenty of money, there is no need for me to be dependent on the Lord the way I am dependent when I am wondering how I am going to be able to make rent and still be able to eat the following week. It's funny to me how abundance of money can make one dishonor God by not being dependent on him and the lack of money can dishonor the name of God by causing one to steal or not trust Him to provide, but just enough daily, satisfies the soul. I am finding that this concept isn't just true of money, but also of grace, patience, joy, contentment and love.

Searching for a job I've found, is quite a discouraging thing (at least it has been in my case). Daily submitting resumes, filling out applications, attending interviews... "selling" myself to someone about why they should hire me. It's humbling for sure.

Part of me says, ENOUGH! enough of this "humbling"!! But, i know, to be humble is to be like Jesus, so i find myself at the end of the day saying, "ok, Lord, I will keep going. Thank you for the lessons today. 'Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD? Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God' "

2009-11-11T22:03:00.001-08:00

So, at work there are some really slow times. Time when the phone doesn't ring and everything has been taken care of for the moment. Usually at those times I click on the RSS feeds and see what's going on in the world, but recently the idea came to my head to read the Bible online any chance i get. Might as well right? So i decided to read through the New Testament and try it out in the "Message" version. It has been quite interesting so far. I can't say that i have agreed with everything that the translation has said, but it has been awesome to have new eyes for familiar Bible passages. Anyways, today when i was reading, i came across this and it really made me think and evaluate where i am at...

^18-19When Jesus saw that a curious crowd was growing by the minute, he told his disciples to get him out of there to the other side of the lake. As they left, a religion scholar asked if he could go along. "I'll go with you, wherever," he said. ²⁰Jesus was curt: "Are you ready to rough it? We're not staying in the best inns, you know."

These verses made me wonder what Jesus would say to me. I realize that so much of my life is based on comfort. How i live, what i eat, what i wear, my friends, my car... EVERYTHING. I wouldn't exactly call myself a "roughin it" kind of girl either. I like makeup and dresses and things that smell nice. I wonder what Jesus thinks of the life i've been living? I have always wondered how "sold out" i need to be or if i have to be a certain kind of person. Does Jesus want me to sell everything i have? give away my car and take the bus to work? stop wearing makeup and stop buying shoes (oh shoes! i haven't bought any in SO long!)? I know i am probably sounding pretty shallow right now and making my faith sound like it is going to be judged on how little i have or how "rough" i appear, but these are things i think about. Would Jesus reply curtly to me, "You know, there is no makeup or nail salons where i am going and you'll probably have to wear the same clothes for the rest of the journey, are you sure you want to come?" Or if Jesus came to me and said "sell everything you own and come follow me", i would like to say that i would do it in a second. But does my life now, my possessions now, my actions now, show a life of one totally surrendered? Where is the line?

The beauty of all of these questions and thoughts rolling around in my head is that Jesus hears them and has answers. I know that God created me and i am precious in his sight. He wants what is best for me and wants me to have an abundant life in him. I pray that as i continue growing, the things of this world and my earthly possessions will hold less and less value to me. It's so easy for me to get trapped in accumulating things and become a slave to possessions. i would like to say that even if everything i owned were to be burnt up tomorrow that i would be content because i have Christ but honestly, i am far from that point. if i walked outside and up to my car tomorrow and found it a heap of ashes, i would probably freak out. If i looked into my closet and found nothing but scraps and smoke i would probably cry. Does Jesus point his finger and condemn me for that reaction? No! Those are my reactions now, but i don't think God wants me to stay there. He wants me to grow and change and view things differently. One day i will.

What a patient and caring and graceful God i serve! One who loves me despite my daily failures, silly questions, and distractions.

Although sometimes it is not so fun thinking about how far i have to go and how much i need to learn, it is kind of nice each morning when i wake to hear Jesus simply say:

"Give me today."

lately...

2009-05-22T14:49:00.000-07:00

maybe i should blog more? it's been months. i like to write...i really do, it's just that every time i sit down to write i have SO many thoughts swimming around in my head mixed with so many feelings and voices, that it's hard to write about one thing specifically. Then i worry, will what i really want to say come out the right way? will i end up offending people? will this sound stupid? why should people read what i have to say anyways? ... mixed with... who cares? this is my blog right? surely i can write about my own life?
i am a little crazy i know this.
welp. one thing i would like to write about is finishing up the Joshua Wilderness Institue at Hume Lake. I graduated on Sunday, May 11. It still feels like a dream. The whole thing. I initially went to the Joshua Wilderness Institute because i felt the Lord calling me there. People ask... what does that mean? God called you? Yes, he called me. At the time i was on a missions trip in Thailand and studying through the book of Matthew. In Matthew i was reading all about Jesus' life and ministry and was SO fascinated with how Jesus spent 30 years of his life preparing for his 3 years of Ministry. 30 years for 3! When i look at my life, i want to serve the Lord. I do. It's all i want. Whether in a jungle in Africa or suburbia, USA, i want to serve him. I realize that is a BIG statement, especially with the God i serve. I say this because i serve a God that asks his followers to give up EVERYTHING (fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers) even their VERY lives to follow after Him, DAILY (Matt.10:37-39, 16:24-25). Therefore, i must ask myself daily, are you giving up everything to follow after God? The truth is, i'm not, not faithfully at least, some days are better than others. However, life is a process, a process of Sanctification (becoming holy) and God is faithful EVERYDAY to be my teacher, even when i am not faithful to pick myself up and follow after him. So, the Joshua program was another step for me in the direction towards a life fully devoted to Him. I left everything, my job, family, friends, life, to follow Him into this "wilderness" of an experience, and He met me there in BIG ways. I experienced God as my defender, my daily bread, my friend, my comfort, my counselor, my sustainer, my teacher, and revealer of Truth. The more i learn about God, the more i realize that i know nothing and that there is SO much more to learn and know and grow in, and that to me is exciting. It's a reason to live. This world is so temporary. This life is so temporary. This day is SO temporary. But a life spent glorifying God is eternal. ETERNAL. I can't even grasp that.
i confess that i am afraid. i am so afraid of what the future may hold for me, but how can i live any other way besides for the Lord? He has chosen me, i am His. He is God and i am not. He holds the Universe in His hands. So as i look back on the last 9 months i spent living at Hume Lake in the Joshua Wilderness Institute, i say...Thank you Lord, thank you SO much, for everything, it was all in your plan.

In His Hands...

2009-03-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

What an amazing God i serve! This past week probably tops all of being one of my worst so far this year. I won't go into details, but let me just say i was on my knees so broken, spirit crushed. Back to the amazing God part... i find it SO mind boggling that the Creator of the universe cares about my life. One of the big things that i am continually learning in my Christian walk is that it is one thing to say you believe and another to live what you believe. For me, it is one thing to say i believe that God is my strength, my defender and loves me, and an entirely different thing to live that out in my life. It's crazy to me how God can take a situation that seems SO incredibly awful to me and turn it into something that can be such a huge lesson for me to gain from. This past week i have really experienced the God of hope, the God of strength and the God of a BIG BIG love for me. Just another reminder to me that i am in His hands and He has me exactly where He wants me. Just another reason to wake up and live for Him.

why are you afraid?

2009-02-10T17:37:00.000-08:00

lately i have been experiencing a lot of fear. more specifically i have been fearing the future and fearing losing a loved one. it has been so weird for me because i have never really legitimately had these 2 types of fears so vividly before. these fears have been randomly creeping up lately into my thought life. So, this morning during devos i was praying and thoughts about the future began to pop up in my head. questions like "what are you going to do this summer? are you going to stay at Hume and take a job? what about bills? what about home? what are your fall plans? where are you going? are you staying home or leaving? more school? work? china?" i began to feel overwhelmed and cried out, "Lord speak to me... tell me what you want me to do" i sat for a while in the silence and decided to begin reading my Bible and asking God to speak to me through His Word. i started reading about Jesus' work and letting His words minister to me. i read about the miracles he was doing and came upon the feeding of the 5000. I marvelled again at it and continued on. my reading soon took me to Jesus and his disciples on a boat during a terrible storm. Jesus is sleeping on a cushion in the stern of the boat and his disciples fearfully rush to him and ask "Don't you care if we drown?" Then it says that Jesus got up and completely calmed the storm with just his words. He then turned to his disciples and said, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" These words cut straight to my soul. "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" this phrase repeated over and over in my mind and i began to write it on my hand... "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" (Mark 4:40 NIV) Just as the disciples had seen Jesus feed 5000 people with nothing, over and over in my life i have seen God provide for me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually over and over and over again! I was so encouraged. Why am i afraid? Where is my faith? My faith is in a God who keeps his promises, a God who made the Universe, a God who sent his only son to die on a cross for me... a God who gently reminds me through His word that He is there and He knows my future, will never give me anything i cannot handle by His grace and will never forsake me because i am his precious child. what comfort! ... just thought i would share :)

love love love...

2009-01-28T21:03:00.000-08:00

This week we have such a great speaker. He is led by God and has rocked our group. His words have rocked me. I am so thankful God created Josh Riebock and that He sent him to speak truth into our lives.

Lately i have been learning so much about loving God and what that means and what that looks like played out in my life. This world needs love. Pure love from God. If all i do in this life is love people well, like God loves, then i have done all i have been created to do. That blows my mind. I have always wondered... "God, what's your will for my life? What am i supposed to do? Why am i created? Why have you chosen me?" The answer is so simple. LOVE. God's will for my life is to love Him and love others. I am supposed to wake up each day and commit to love at all costs to my own comfort. I was created out of God's great love and He chose me before the foundation of the world because He loved me so. I confess, I get so hung up on the simpleness of it all. LOVE. Could it be that easy? And God whispers... "It is...only with my help... love me and love others." My sinful selfish nature keeps me from this simple realization but i see that my life will be a never-ending opportunity to live a life of love. I hope in this love that has been revealed to me.
"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

last night...

2008-11-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

Last night was probably one of my hardest but best nights so far here at Joshua. This week our speaker is John Alvarado. He was sharing his story and talking about how the organization he works with feeds the starving kids in Mexico. His words brought back a lot of memories and a lot of my experience in China. While i was in China this Summer, i had the amazing opportunity to visit one of the orphanages that the kids we had at camp came from. That day was one of the hardest days of my life. The first room we walked into had about 15-20 kids in it and they all were sitting there like zombies. There was no life in their eyes. I saw one child that was so skinny she looked like one of the children you see on TV specials who are starving in Africa. The children were so dirty and smelled like they hadn't been bathed in weeks. We went into several more rooms with about the same amount of children and there were only a few staff members to be found and they followed us from room to room. They explained that they had twice as many infants as the children we saw but refused to show them to us. With the state these children were in, i could only imagine the terrible conditions the babies must have been in. There were so many times i wanted to break down and cry, but i felt the need to hold all of my tears in and just smile at every child that looked my way. They kept grabbing for me and for my attention. Each of them just wanting to be touched or talked to. It was overwhelming. My heart was broken. They took us to the lunch room and told us not to bring our cameras. There i saw children sipping broth and eating small portions of rice and some didn't even have rice to eat. After only a few minutes the man in charge of our 'tour' asked us to leave their dining hall. I wondered if he had seen the looks on our faces. No wonder favorite part of the day for my orphans at camp was meal time. Each meal at camp they would scarf down all of their food and I would give them the food that was on my plate as well. We left the orphanage and went back to the University where we were running camp. I was silent the whole car ride trying to process what i had seen but i couldn't. Last night, as John Alvarado was sharing, everything came rushing back. As i sat on the couch in the great room listening to him speak i couldn't stop the tears from falling. I got up and left during his closing prayer unable to control myself. I ran upstairs to my room, fell to the floor and began sobbing. I was crying so hard that my eyes turned a bright red. I needed to be alone and knew any minute that my roommate would be coming up the stairs. I quickly put on some warm clothes and grabbed my flash light and walked out of the building. It was raining and dark and cold but i didnt care i needed to feel something other than the pain that was rushing my heart at the moment. I walked down the hill and then back up imagining a few times in my head what i would do if i ran into a bear or a mountain lion and it tried to eat me, haha. I sat in the rain for about a half an hour talking to God and praying for those whom he brought to my mind. Nothing magical happened and i didnt get any answers, but there was something just so soothing about crying out to the Lord and sitting with him in the dark and in the silence.
It was wonderful.

The Heavens declare His GLORY!

2008-11-03T14:36:00.000-08:00

Most Mondays at Joshua we have 'DTGs' which either means 'ditch the girls' or 'ditch the guys'. This allows for some quality time with just the gals or just the guys to hang out and do something fun together. Sometimes our DTGs are joint. Today was such a day. Jeff Lilley (the director of Hume Lake) took us on a hike up into some mountains at Hume. The staff opted to take us on a couple mile hike instead of a 10 mile hike so that if it started snowing our vehicles would be ok. I was all for that! Anyways, we began our hike ad tromped through the forest. It was REALLY foggy. So foggy in fact, that when we reached our destination at the top of a mountain, we could only see white all around us. I whispered a prayer in my head that God would wipe away the fog so we could see his beautiful creation all around us. Everyone found a place and we began to eat our sack lunches. A few moments later i a cold wind and looked up. Before my eyes i saw the thick fog being pushed away and a view of hundreds of trees was soon visible! The sky parted into two cloudy sections and the sun shone through in some parts. Everyone stared around in awe! A view that was once pure white was now colorful and clear! It was quite a sight to see and such a blessing from the Lord! He chose to reveal his beautiful creation to his children sitting on a mountain top waiting for a glimpse of Him.
It reminds me of a song i used to sing at a prayer group i was a member of a long time ago...

My God is so great!
So strong and so mighty,

there's nothing my God cannot do!

The mountains are His
The valleys are His
The stars are his handywork too!

My God is so great!

So strong and so mighty,there's nothing my God cannot do

for you and you and you and me!

down the hill!

2008-11-03T14:28:00.000-08:00

I had this past weekend off and decided to take full advantage of Fresno! Which, isn't much if you are familiar with the area :) Some friends and i headed down the hill and enjoyed everything a Joshua student dreams about! In N Out, shopping!, The Mall, quality facebook time with free wifi, talking on a cell phone, and The Cheesecake Factory! We even got to see some 'Yes on Prop. 8' protesters. It felt SO nice to get off the mountain and into some civilization for a day!

Philippians Test Chapter 1

2008-10-31T15:15:00.000-07:00

Today was our first Philippians test! One of the parts of Joshua is memorzing the book of Philippians. I was a little apprehensive about it when i entered the program because i have never memorized an entire book of the Bible before. Rich (the director) gave us a little piece of advice from day one, which was to take a verse a day and memorize it. Last night the Joshua building was buzzing with students reciting the first chapter over and over and over again. My friend Nicole and i spent most of the night walking around outside of the Joshua Building shouting out verses in weird voices, eating LOTS of junk food (to help us study of course) with the occasional interuption of watching the Joshua boys wrestle each other in the living room until one tapped out (since we can't watch TV, it's nice to haev people to entertain you). Before we knew it, the morning came and we were all line up in the great room (living room) at 8am sharp to recite what we had been working on for months! It felt like game day back in high school, the adrenaline was pumping and i was ready! I got to recite it to my friend Carter who had heard me say it the night before and in a few moments we were high fiving and i was signing a big PASS!!!! next to my name :) I walked outside, walked down the road a little bit and raised my hands and said THANK YOU GOD FOR HELPING ME MEMORIZE THIS!! HURRAY!!!

it was a good feeling :)

Below is a pic a friend took of me while i was working in the boat house this weekend.

Pause family

2008-10-25T18:44:00.000-07:00

Part of the genius of the Joshua Wilderness Institute is a little thing called 'Pause Families'. At the beginning of the year 5 to 6 Joshua Students are paired up with a family or two of Full Time Hume Lake Staff. About every other week the Joshua Students get together with their Pause Families and hang out. It is a time to get away from the building, have a home cooked meal and some time of fellowship and fun!

This year i have been blessed to have the opportunity to be a part of the Nelson Family. Allow me to introduce to you: John, Jen, Genevieve, Jacob and Garrett Nelson! They are WONDERFUL! John just transitioned into a Utilities director here at Hume and Jen stays busy raising their three kids and counseling students at the Hume Lake School.

Jen is such a good cook and blesses us each week with a wonderful meal! John LOVES to beat us all at 'Insane Uno'. Genevieve likes to dress me up and play with me (as you can tell by my lovely headband in the picture). Jacob loves to EAT! Every meal he eats so much that John and Jen often have to tell him to slow down or to stop haha. Little Garrett is so precious! He is still perfecting the art of talking which often leads to a lot of laughs and translations followed by 'you are so cute!' Earlier this week when we were at their house i was talking with Jen in the kitchen when Garrett called out, 'Dominique!' i answered, 'Yes Garrett?' Then he said, 'I love you!' with a big smile on his face :)

I am so thankful to the Lord for this wonderful Pause Family!

2008-10-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

When i turned my back
You stood there holding your arms out
When i walked away
You continued to reach for me
When i took another path
You called my name
When you found me on my knees broken and weeping
You lifted me up, gathered me to yourself, called me your child and took me home

Solo Initiative

2008-10-23T15:26:00.000-07:00

At Joshua one of the many blessings we have is what is called 'Solo Initiative'. Every week on either a Tuesday or a Thursday (depending on if we do grunting or not...i'll write a blog about grunting sometime) we get to work on our Solo Initiative. I decided that my Solo Initiative was gonig to be guitar (even though i secretly want to paint!). Today was my first day. I discovered today that trying to teach myself something is REALLY HARD. I have some books to help (thanks Josh) and am hoping that i will be able to get some tips from the amazing guitar players we have around here, but would like to ask for your prayers! Would you be willing to say a quick prayer for me and my Solo Initiative? If so, please pray that God would be my teacher and help me to be patient and diligent as I seek to stick with this new venture. ready.... PRAY! jk. but thank you much if do!

gifts from God

2008-10-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

At Joshua, we get the amazing opportunity to have Speakers come every week or so and challenge us through God's word. The first two weeks of the program we had the priviledge of learning from Sam and Eileen Meier. Sam and Eileen showed us Jesus not only in word but also in deed.
The second week i was here at Joshua i injured my left ankle pretty badly playing Basketball and as a result couldn't walk around on it without having intense pain. On the weekends here at Joshua (minus the weekend of a trip and our one weekend off) we work down in main camp. Joshua students are not allowed to drive their cars on work weekends or ask for rides, so if you want to get around anywhere you have to walk. This small fact = bad news for my freshly sprained ankle. I tried to explain my situation to a staff member hoping for some mercy and was told to get some crutches and do my best. I hobbled upstairs to my room, took some ibuprofen and began to cry. I was so sad that i sprained my ankle and was gonig to injure it even more by walking down the hill. I sat on my bed and prayed to the Lord and asked, "God please provide a ride for me, my ankle hurts so bad". I got dressed in my work uniform and looked out of my window one last time to see if a ride would magically appear and then decided to begin walking down the stairs. It was about 1pm and at the pace my walking was, i knew it was going to take me every bit of time i had to walk down to work. I started out down the hill a little ways, every step throbbing with pain when i heard a voice call out, "Hi Dominique, are you counting your steps or something?" I obviously was walking funny and turned around to see Sam and Eileen who had gone out for an afternoon stroll. I began to explain that i had injured my ankle and then totally lost it and began crying. Sam quickly answered,"Let us help you!" and explained that they had a quad just down the hill and that if Eileen and i would say a prayer that it would start, he would be up in just a few moments to pick us up. We agreed and Eileen and i sat down and began to talk. She comforted me with kind words and said that she had just been praying that very morning that she would get the opportunity to talk with me again before they left to go back to Ohio. What an AWESOME answer to prayer! Here i was discouraged about my ankle and not having a ride when God brought Sam and Eileen to my rescue! I can't remember a single time in my life when i have felt more thankful for a ride! Eileen and i said a prayer together for my ankle and the quad and before we knew it Sam rode up oh so valiantly! The rest of the day I was overflowing with gratitude and thankfulness! Sam and Eileen took me to the infirmiry where the nurse examined my ankle and gave me a note so that i could get rides up and down the Joshua hill as needed.

San Fran Fam!

2008-10-23T14:53:00.000-07:00

While in San Franciso i got the chance to meet up with my Uncle Niyo and Aunt Sofia and some of my cousins! It was AWESOME! They were in awe at a few of the Joshua rules (no t.v., being even, no music, etc) but we had fun catching up and laughing together like Valenzuela's do :)

San Francisco Habitat for Humanity Trip

2008-10-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

Last week our group had the opportunity to drive out to the bay area and work with Habitat for Humanity. It was our very first trip off of the Hume Lake Property. Unlike what most of us expected, we spent the majority of our work days cleaning out a warehouse and our last day on site helping complete some homes. The warehouse was intense! We wore masks so we could breathe amidst all the dust and came home COVERED in dirt each day. The first day on the job my leader split his finger open while we were moving two large steel objects and a day later one of our own stepped on a nail (see the joshua blog for some insight on that http://www.joshuawilderness.org/). Suprisingly, i didn't get hurt at all. Thank you Lord! We slept on the floor at a nearby church and took showers at a public pool which made for interesting times. At the warehouse i met a man named Mike. He seemed pretty hardened and cursed a lot on the job. One day he noticed i was wearing a Biola t-shirt and said "Biola?! The Biblical Institue of Los Angeles? humph. the only two good things that came out were its two pro baseball players." I looked at him and smiled and said, "And Me". He smiled back and i said a prayer in my heart that Jesus would draw Mike to himself. If my only reason for getting the opportunity to go to San Fran was to meet Mike and say that prayer that day, it was worth it :)

Before all the work began we got to enjoy a free day in the city which was a lot of fun! Below are some pics with me and some friends at the Cheesecake Factory and the view from the balcony in Union Square.

80s theme night :)

2008-10-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

here are just a couple pics from Joshua's 80's theme night. Let's just say that on theme nights i am glad to have roommates to borrow things from.
After having an awesome dinner with rockin 80s music we went down to the Ark for a skate night :)

happy faces

2008-10-23T14:27:00.000-07:00

Here are some happy faces from Kim and I after a YUMMY dinner at BJ's with Pizookie (cookies the size of a pizza) and all!

Room Check!

2008-10-02T11:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes at Joshua i think i am at boot camp :)

jk. Joshua is not that bad, but every Thursday we have room checks. We have to make sure our rooms are SPOTLESS or face the consequences. So far we haven't had any consequences, but the staff will write on our mirrors what we missed or what they thought wasn't quite in order. We have to dust and clean everything. Today me and my roomie got our first PERFECT room inspection! It sounds like something kind of silly to be excited about, but, we were REALLY excited and gave eachother high fives and took some pictures to celebrate!

I guess it's just the little things in life :) ...

Ettiquette Dinner!

2008-10-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

We were priviledged to get the opportunity to have a professional Ettiquette Instructor come and teach us a few manners aroud the dinner table at Joshua!

People were pretty excited because Ettiquette Dinner is the only time in Joshua that we will get to have a date all year long! I was just excited to get dressed up and get to eat a 5 course meal :)

The staff went all out decorating the dining hall for us so once we stepped through the doors it was like entering another land! There were pink rose petals all over floor and hanging plants and candles, it was amazing!

We learned how to walk into a dinner party with a date and to eat REALLY slowly taking one bite at a time and placing our fork down each time to chew and taking small enough bites so that you can carry on a conversation at the same time.

Thanks for teaching me the basics Grams & Gramps!

All in all it was a very fun night!

To the right is a pic of me and my date Kevin

Kindergarten Night!

2008-09-18T10:26:00.003-07:00

The cooks at Joshua decided that every Wednesday night for dinner will be a 'theme' night. This gives us a break from the usual dinner night at Joshua where we are required to dress nice. Our first theme night of the year was 'Kindergarten Night". It was quite interesting to see how dressing like kindergarteners caused many to act like kindergarteners during dinner. The meal included applesauce, baby carrots, raisens, graham crackers with peanut butter in the center and macaroni and cheese with hot dogs cut up in it :)

"We must aim to put more into life than we take out"

2008-09-18T10:26:00.002-07:00

Right now in Joshua we are reading a book called, "Spiritual Leadership" by J. Oswald Sanders. So far this book has been amazing! If you are looking for a good read, check this book out!

"Because we children of Adam want to become great,
He became small.
Because we will not stoop,
He humbled Himself.
Because we want to rule,
He came to serve."

Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.
Mark 10:43-44

A weekend off!

2008-09-18T10:26:00.001-07:00

This past weekend i was blessed to have work duty off! This was a HUGE blessing because it had been a LOOOONG week with lots of new things/experiences. There is a joke up at Hume that the only thing a Joshua student can really do on their weekend off is go down to Fresno and eat In N Out and walk around Target. They say this because you can't go to the movies, a concert, etc. So... what did I do on my weekend off? Ate at In N Out and walked around Target! I also managed to find a giant horse to take a picture with! I missed "The Well", EFCC's College group, and managed to find a church called "The Well". Definitely a blessed weekend of relaxing and getting to have some fun down the hill with Kim & Kellie :)

A walk around the lake...

2008-09-13T15:05:00.001-07:00

After a VERY busy first week, it was nice to get out and take a walk around Hume with Kim. What a blessing it has been with all of this change to have a little piece of home with me. God has blessed me with having one of my dear friends up at Hume until the end of October. Thank you Lord for Kim! :)

Hume Lake has been quite strange for me to get used to. I am definitely a city girl at heart so all of these new sights and sounds and smells have been something i have been marvelling at while i comprehend that this will be my new home for 9 months. Every time i am outside and i take a look into the tall trees or see creatures crawling below, i can't help but praise God and say, WOW! What an awesome Creator you are! What beauty! What greatness! I am so small and insignificant compared to who you are! One of my favorite hymns is 'How Great Thou Art' and i find myself whistling it quite often here.

The Joshua Commitment

2008-09-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

The first day of Joshua, we signed a commitment letter that would change the next 9 months for me in a LOT of ways... below is the commitment I painfully signed :)

The Joshua Commitment

Understanding the purpose of the Joshua Wilderness Institute Commitment to be threefold; developing and demonstrating the priority of personal discipline in my life, denying myself access to practices which might prove a distraction from hearing the voice of God clearly, and making a distinct and determined separation from the world and it's influences, I have decided to commit myself to the following, for the complete duration of the nine month course, including all breaks, days off, and holidays:

1. To abstain from any and all movies, including theatrical releases, videos, DVDs or Internet features, with absolutely no exception made for company, content or occasion.

2. To abstain from any and all television programming, whether live or pre-recorded, and with absolutely no exception made for company, content or occasion.

3. To abstain from any and all video games, in any format, or on any platform, with absolutely no exception made for company, content or occasion.

4. To abstain from any and all music, except for live Worship music, whether pre-recorded in any format or live with absolutely no exception made for content, company or occasion.

5. To abstain from any and all dating, defined as "Social engagements with persons of the opposite sex", whether alone or in groups, and including phone, post, or email interactions for the purpose of developing future dating activities, except for those with existing dating relationships as established at the outset of the program, and with absolutely no other exception made for incident, company or occasion.

Having read and acknowledged the above code of conduct, I do hereby commit myself to the guidelines above, and will willingly submit myself to any disciplinary action that may be incurred by their compromise.

Signed Dominique Valenzuela
9/7/08

AHHHHHHHHH!
Lord be my strength!

First day at Hume!

2008-09-11T12:53:00.001-07:00

After a little less then 6.5 hrs my family and i arrived at Hume Lake. We stayed overnight in Grant Grove and the next morning we drove to the Joshua Building to begin moving in :) My mom, sis, and bro Donovan were such a HUGE help to me! After many trips up the stairs and some organizing, my room was complete! Below is a picture of me and my family on my bed and a picture of me and my roommate Stephanie. Above is a picture of Stephanie, Kim and I taking a walk around the lake. It was fun setting the camera timer and running down to be in the picture.

saying goodbye...

2008-09-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

Saying goodbye to family to leave to Joshua was probably one of

the hardest things i have ever done in my life. My wonderful job, my family of Jr. Higher's and staff, and my own family and friends... all of these i will miss greatly. One of the hardest things about leaving is knowing how much different everything will be when you return. I am confident though, that the Lord has a plan and purpose for me attending the Joshua Wilderness Institute.

Here are just a few pictures of my last days at Jr. High and some of the wonderful people who showed me love as I left my home and journeyed up to Hume. My Jr. High family prayed over me and sent me off with their blessing.